Laura Barton sat alone on the porch of her farmhouse, unable to bear being inside a moment longer today as she could see all her husband's unfinished projects. It had been three long and excruciating weeks since Clint's execution, a shocking event that still seemed surreal yet there was no denying it had been all too real. When the order had been given for the shots to be fired, her world and her heart had been shattered along with his. The pain of losing Clint in such a way was almost unbearable, and she wondered if she would ever find solace again.
As she stared out into the distance really seeing nothing, and lost in her thoughts, the glare of an approaching car captured her attention. She sighed, and prayed that the media had not at last found her family's home as she was sure they'd been looking since before Clint's execution. She thought about going inside the house and locking the door before whoever it was got too close, but then she realized she didn't care. If it were the media, then she'd finally have a chance to tell the world about the man she knew and loved. However, when the car stopped, and the occupant got out, she was surprised to see the familiar face of Pepper Potts Stark.
Why was she here? Pepper of all people was only a few feet away from her, and Laura couldn't understand why she would come to see her. But then when Pepper was only a few feet away, Laura could see that her eyes were both red and weary, mirroring the pain she also felt inside. The truth was, their lives had been forever changed by the actions and the loss of the two men they had loved.
Pepper's voice was laden with sorrow when she said, "Mrs. Barton, I am so very sorry for your loss."
Laura nodded in response, tears shining in her eyes, "Thank you for coming, Mrs. Stark—"
"Pepper. Please call me Pepper."
"Then I am Laura. As I was saying, thank you for coming. I... I don't know how to cope with this."
Pepper gestured as the chair to her asking permission to sit, and Laura nodded.
Pepper's smile was a sad. sympathetic one as she seated herself, "I understand, Laura. I know losing Tony was the hardest thing I've ever faced. When he died... after he died,,, the sun didn't just stop shining. There was no sun for me anymore. And, with Clint..."
Her voice trailed off, the unspoken words left hanging heavily between them. Both of them knew just how far Clint had gone during those Five Years in his quest for revenge. SHIELD's decision to actually honor the world's request to execute him had been unexpected, but it seemed even Fury thought he needed to be held accountable.
"Tony's funeral was beautiful... peaceful," Laura said softly, adding when Pepper raised an eyebrow, "I came to the funeral with Clint and our kids. I think you were in the same fog then as the one I've been in since they... oh our kids. Lila and Cooper are old enough to understand what happened to their father but they still can't understand it., Neither can I! I know what Clint did to all those people was wrong, but he wasn't a monster, Pepper! He wasn't! He just got lost in all his anger and pain and he just lashed out!"
Pepper nodded, "And I regret that we didn't do anything to try to help him." She did too, because maybe if they'd tried to help him, he wouldn't have gone on such a bloody crusade, and he would still be here with his family.
Laura laughed sardonically, "Thank you for saying that, but I know you couldn't have helped him if you'd tried. He still had Nat then. And if she couldn't help him, then any attempt you may have made would've been even more hopeless."
"Even so, I am sorry that we didn't at least try to help him."
"Thank you for saying that."
Pepper nodded her eyes were, filled with kinship as she said, "You know you said you don't know how to explain this to your kids in a way they can finally understand what's happened?"
Laura nodded, "Yes?"
"Oh, Laura, there's no easy way to explain or even understand something like this. I wish there were but even after three months, I am still finding myself struggling what to say to Morgan in the moments when all she wants is her Daddy, and that's very often. She and Tony were so close and I'm not sure she still understands that he will never come home again."
"Then what kind of light can there possibly be, Pepper?" Laura asked, wiping away tear, her voice breaking with grief. "Tell me, what's left for us without him? What's left for my kids and me without Clint there with us?"
Pepper took a deep breath, and when she spoke her voice was one of grief and hope, "There is very little, if I am honest. But the sun has started to come out a little for me. I see the sunlight the most when I am looking into my daughter's eyes. I see so much of Tony in her. I see his spirit and his determination. And I am reminded that even in life's darkest times, there's still a flicker of hope. It might be a tiny one, but it is there. You have a daughter and a son right?"
"A daughter and two sons," Laura corrected.
"Oh, I'm sorry, I should have remembered."
"No, don't apologize. There's no way you could have. Not with what you were going through at that time."
Pepper nodded, and continued with what she was going to say, "I have Morgan but you were... blessed to have three children with Clint. They're three chances and places to look for signs of him whenever you're really missing him. Clint lives on through them, just like Tony lives on in Morgan."
She sighed, and went on, "I know this is going to sound like a tired, old cliché but with every day that's passing I am learning it's truth. Time heals all wounds. It may not feel like it right now, but eventually the pain will lessen, and you'll find a way to move on."
"Move on? How can you say that, Pepper? Clint is gone, and my kids will never see their father again!"
"I'm not saying you have to forget him, Laura. But you need to try to focus on the good memories and the life and the love you shared with him. You have to keep going, for both you and your kids. I know I don't know you well yet, but I believe you are a strong woman. You would have to be, to have been married to someone who was an agent a long time before he became an Avenger. So I believe you can do this."
"I'm not feeling particularly strong, Pepper. Instead, I feel like a hollowed out shell of who used to be Laura Barton. Everything, everywhere I look I am reminded of him, and I don't how to make the flood turn off."
"It won't, Laura, or at least not entirely. But with time, and taking it day day, you'll start to feel like yourself again. Or as much as you can with someone you loved so much being gone. And, in the meantime, if I am not too much of a stranger to be saying this... but I want to be here for you, if I can. If you want me too. I know the circumstances of our husbands deaths were not quite the same, but we're in the same boat, and I just want you to know you are not alone in this, okay?"
Tears streamed down her face and Laura wiped them before she reached out to take Pepper's hand, "Thank you, Pepper. I really appreciate you reaching out to me like this. We don't really know each other, but I would like to get to know you. It would be nice to have someone to be able to talk to and cry with when one or both of us need it."
A sad smile graced Pepper's lips, "We'll get through this. Together."
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