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Fill 38: Unrequited Love
Jul. 1st, 2023 04:33 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
innitmarvelous_ogMany years had passed in the realm of Asgard since the passing of Eva, and a beautiful young noblewoman had come to the Palace to serve as a lady-in-waiting to the Queen. Of course she had heard of Loki and his propensity for causing chaos everywhere he went, but as he did not live at the Palace full time any longer she had yet to meet him. But that changed one day when she was walking through the halls of the Palace on an errand for the Queen, and she saw Loki laughing with a young girl.
Brynja felt her heart warming as she watched Loki doting on the child so tenderly. She knew of his reputation as a cruel and deceitful trickster, but what she was witnessing was something entirely different. The way he obviously cared for this little girl, made Brynja curious as to who she was.
"Brynja!"
When Loki looked in her direction, Brynja hurried along to meet the one who had called her and to complete he tasks.
The days passed, and Loki stayed on in the Palace with his daughter as Brynja realized, the more she found herself drawn to him. She often sought him out in the gardens or one the training grounds when she was free from her duties, hoping to always catch a glimpse of him. On one of these occasions she watched as he gave his daughter a lesson on wielding his preferred wepaon of choice, the daggers.
Then one day, Brynja decided she would do more than watch. She approached Loki as he watched Sigyn practicing with her bow.
"May I join you both?" she asked in a demure tone.
Loki turned to her, smiling faintly, he said, "Of course, my Lady."
They were silent as they watched Sigyn hit the target with remarkable precision for one so young.
Brynja broke the silence with a quiet compliment, "She's quite good."
Loki gave a nod, his eyes still on his daughter, his voice almost wistful, "Yes, she is. She takes after her mother in many ways."
Brynja was hesitant to voice what she was thinking, since after all she didn't know him personally. At last she spoke with sincerity, "I... I am so sorry for your loss, my Lord."
Loki nodded an acknowledgement of thanks but he did not take his eyes off of his daughter. He did speak, however, not sure why he said what he said to her other than it was grief presenting itself once more, "Thank you, my Lady. Eva... Eva was everything to me."
Brynja nodded, "it is true, I did not know her, but I think she would be proud of the way that you care for your daughter."
Loki smiled softly. "I hope so. I do hope so."
In the coming days, Brynja was less hesitant to make her presence known to Loki or Sigyn, and she began to spend more time with them. Every day they talked more, they even laughed, and Brynja found herself falling in love then even more in love with Loki. But Loki never gave her any signs he returned her feelings, and she knew it was because his thoughts were for his lost wife.
Then one day, Brynja found Loki sitting along on a balcony looking the city below.
"May I speak... openly with you?" she asked softly.
He turned to her, and nodded, "Of course. Please sit down." He made room for her to sit beside him.
"Thank you," she said, sitting down.
"We shall be returning home... Sigyn and I shall be going back to our home the day after tomorrow."
"Oh?" Brynja inquired, feeling her heart race, "But I thought that you both lived here?"
Loki looked at her, "No, we do not. Since Eva and I were wed, we lived outside the Palace in our own cottage. We come to the Palace to visit at certain times of the year, but the Palace has never truly been the home Sigyn has known in her life."
"I see."
The silence fell back over them, and a few minutes passed before he asked, "What did you wish to speak to me about, Lady Brynja?"
Brynja took several deep breaths trying to calm her heart and nerves. Did she really still want to give a voice to what she was feeling? One look at him told her that, yes, she did want to give voice to what she was feeling. She took a deep breath, and started speaking.
"I know that you will perhaps never feel the same way about me as I do about you, but i wanted you to know how much my thoughts and feelings regarding you have changed since I first met you. Watching how you are with Sigyn... and all the time and talks we've shared with one another has made me... come to love you, Loki. I love you not merely as a friend but... in another way as well. A deeper way."
Loki looked at her for a long moment, neither speaking or moving, and she knew she had made a mistake.
"I've made a fool of myself, and ruined what lies between us," Brynja said, standing up, "I am so sorry, my Lord, I never should have—"
He grabbed her hand before she could hurry off in humiliation, "No, please don't." He stood up so their eyes were on equal level. "My dear Brynja, you haven't made a fool of yourself or ruined anything between us. I had suspected it for quite some times, and I am sorry. But hear me out, I am not sorry because you feel the way that you do for your part. Rather, it is on my part. If we had met another time or way, I could perhaps return your love for me in the way you deserve. I am honored that you see me as being worthy of loving, but I am afraid I cannot return that love i the same way. I am still and shall always be in love with my wife, you shall. Eva isn't here any longer, has not been for many years, but I still love her with all of my heart."
Brynja looked deeply into his eyes, and saw the depths of his love for his late wife there. She nodded, and tried to hide her disappointment as she replied, "I understand, Loki. I... I just couldn't hold my feelings inside me any longer."
"And I thank you for sharing them with me. It is as I have said, I feel honored, both how you feel for me and for the courage you had to share your feelings with me. Pray, I hope we will still be able to be friends henceforth?"
"Of course, we will. I would like that very much," she said.
He opened his mouth to say something, but was interrupted by a small voice calling for him.
"Father!"
With a smile, Loki turned from her, and Brynja watched him go greet his daughter.
Just as she said, Brynja remained a friend to Loki from that day forward, grateful to be his friend.
